Not Worthy

 I am a child who was born in the mid-70’s and grew up in the 80’s and 90’s. I also am a child who grew up in a musical household. My father and brother are both musicians. So, it should come as little to surprise to those who know me, that I am a fan of Wayne’s World—a comedy sketch that first appeared on Saturday Night Live and was later made into a movie.

The premise revolves around the characters of Wayne, played by Mike Myers, and Garth, played by Dana Carvey. What I really remember the most is that they would encounter rock stars, and upon meeting them, would grovel and proclaim, “We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.”

Well, the reason I am sharing this with you today is because that is how I have been feeling lately-- “not worthy.”

Do you ever feel this way?

This past week it was my birthday. My amazing husband took me to a TobyMac concert at Six Flags in New Jersey as a surprise! (If you have never seen TobyMac live,  you MUST go. He is amazing!) And, we spent the next day in Philadelphia checking out the cool historical places in the city. (Think Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell.) We then topped off our trip with a top-notch dinner at a little French bistro called Bistrot La Minette. It was probably one of the best meals I have ever had in my life. Honestly! (Check out some of our pictures of the trip below.)

Of this love and special treatment, I don’t feel worthy.

I had more than 100 family and friends call, text, or message me “Happy Birthday!”

To be remembered like this, I don’t feel worthy.

I decided to create a special campaign to raise money for The Rutledge Center for my birthday via Facebook. My goal was to raise $200 for this nonprofit that is doing uplifting work in our community by serving and promoting the general welfare of individuals with developmental disabilities. Well, I had family and friends step up and give $215!

Of this generosity, I don’t feel worthy.

Because of my birthday and all that has been happening because of it, I have been reflecting on all the love and blessings in my life. I have so very much love and so very many blessings. I can’t even begin to digest it all or fathom it. And, I don’t feel worthy.

Then, I started thinking about just how much I loved by God. And, of that, I most certainly do NOT feel worthy.

Here I am, this horrible, selfish, wretched person, stained with sin. But, God loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die on a cross for me. Jesus died in MY place. For me. For MY sins. FOR. ME. For me.

And, Jesus died on that cross for you, too.

He carried the sin of every single person on the earth to that cross. He carried the sins of everyone who is, was, or will be. Isn’t that mind-blowing?

And, as I sit and think about how much He suffered, how much pain and anguish He felt, how much torment He went through, I am shaken. I am at a loss. I am bereft. I definitely don’t feel worthy of that. I don’t feel worthy of any of that.

But, God says we are worthy. You are worthy. I am worthy. Why? Because He created us. That is why we are worthy. We are each special and have a unique purpose on this earth. That speaks volumes, doesn't it?

Before I leave you this week, I thought I would share something else with you. A friend of mine shared this on her Facebook page. It helps to reflect just a little of the depth of love that God has for us.

“Outrageous grace is God’s goodness that comes looking for you when you have nothing but a middle finger flipped in the face of God to offer in return. It’s a farmer paying a full day’s wages to a crew of deadbeat day laborers with only a single hour punched on their time cards (Matthew 20:1 – 16). It’s a man marrying an abandoned woman and then refusing to forsake his covenant with her when she turns out to be a whore (Ezekiel 16:8 – 63; Hosea 1:1 — 3:5). It’s the insanity of a shepherd who puts ninety-nine sheep at risk to rescue the single lamb that’s too stupid to stay with the flock (Luke 15:1 – 7). It’s the love of a father who hands over his finest rings and robes to a young man who has squandered his inheritance on drunken binges with his fair-weather friends (Luke 15:11 – 32). It’s God’s choice to save a slave trader knowing full well that it would take a decade for this man to recognize the wretchedness of his ways. It’s one-way love that calls you into the kingdom not because you’ve been good but because God has chosen you and made you his own. And now he is chasing you to the ends of the earth to keep you as his child, and nothing in heaven or hell can ever stop him.” 
― Daniel Montgomery, Proof: Finding Freedom Through the Intoxicating Joy of Irresistible Grace